“What is truer than truth? Answer: The story.” – Jewish proverb.1
As Jesus often demonstrated, good stories tell the truth in a way nothing else can. Stories can help us see God and the universe in new ways, and also motivate us to be better people. So how does such a good thing often go bad?
As part of the worship service, the story time has become as ubiquitous as taking up an offering; and in many congregations the two activities are combined. In my experience, the regular story for kids is a good thing, and many have devoted considerable time and effort to making it a valuable ministry. In addition to being valuable in its own right, it prepares worshippers of all ages to engage with other elements of worship including the Bible lesson, or sermon.
During preparation, however, many of us find that it’s not always clear what story will deserve to be memorable and what kind everyone will want to forget. I have to admit, I’ve made all the mistakes and broken all the rules and guidelines of good story telling. In that regard I wish someone had warned me a long time ago about what not to do. But maybe it’s not too late to try something different. Here, for the benefit of all of us, young and old, are three types of children’s stories we would do well to avoid.2
1. The TMI story—too much information! I hate to admit it, but sometimes I preach too long. (Yes, it happens.) You can thank my family members for that bit of insight. I don’t like hearing it. But I get it—less is often more. And just like a sermon, nothing kills the effectiveness of a story like letting it become an endurance test for both kids and adults.
This is not just about keeping the story short, which is essential, or excluding inappropriate or embarrassing details, which should literally go without saying. It’s about sticking to the heart of the story, giving the essential information, and nothing more. Doing that will often remove TMI and the resulting cringe factor—that dreaded moment when both kids and adults find the story painfully awkward and boring. For example, when we hear an introduction such as, “Last night when I was trying to figure out what story to tell…” or worse, “When I found out a few minutes ago that I had the story this morning…” we’ve already heard too much. Instead of a story with a helpful point, we’re hearing a story about how confused and unprepared the story teller is.
The best way to stick to the story and avoid TMI is to start strong. Dive right into the essential action, point of suspense, or problem in the story. If we don’t have any action, suspense, or problem solving to talk about, we probably don’t have a story. We’re just trying to give information or advice, which no matter how well intentioned is usually unhelpful and boring.
And here’s a blunt truth: Many good stories go bad before they have a chance to start. They fail because of the introduction. It may seem obvious that a 5 minute story does not need a 10 minute introduction. But story tellers (and preachers) often think they have to give a lot of background information before telling a story. “I heard this story from my grandmother’s great uncle who traveled to Lower Slabovia back in 43.” Seriously—nobody cares.
The fact is, the first words out of our mouths will determine, to a large extent, what the story is really about and whether anyone will want to listen. So whenever possible let’s dispense with the introduction and go straight to the action. If handled skillfully, visual aids including live animals can really carry the day. But we must make sure the narrative and the visual content connect to each other in a meaningful way. Bait and switch does not work here. “See the cute kittens? Now let me tell you about the prodigal son.” Huh? And if we add a moral to the story as a kind of punchline, it has to be brief and one that the story has already illustrated clearly. A little repetition by design can be a good teaching device. But a rambling, moralizing rant in search of a point is not a story; it’s a bad sermon!
Also, let’s not try to make a story better by adding a second or a third story. Not only does that make the story time too long, it usually obscures the point. Once the audience hears, “and that reminds me of another story—when I was growing up…” TMI, boredom, and cringe factors have already set in.
2. The pointless story—just one thing after another. A story, regardless of how long or short, has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It might seem logical then to start at the chronological beginning and narrate each event in order to the end, at which point we find, voilà, a conclusion. But not only is that often the most boring way to tell a story, it often has no point. It’s just a string of events that occur over time. Who cares? Especially if it’s a well-known story, it’s best to change things up a bit.
When telling the story of the Prodigal Son, for example, we might choose to begin with the moment he meets his father on the road. The son approaches fearfully, his mind flashes back to the last time he saw his dad, and how he hurt his family by leaving. But things hadn’t quite turned out the way he expected. And now his heart jumps into his throat. He wonders if he can ever go home again. He feels faint, expecting the worst. Will his dad hire him as a servant, disown him, or just send him away?
So by beginning at that suspense-filled moment on the road, we emphasize the point of the story. God is more loving and forgiving than we deserve or expect. That point remains prominent throughout the story. It solves the misunderstandings of the prodigal; and challenges the assumptions of the elder brother at the end. If we choose, we can make a different point with the same story. For example, if we focus on the conflict between the father and his eldest son, we can make a point about how mean and jealous people hurt themselves and end up missing the party. There are many possibilities. But the point of tension must always move the story toward the point or conclusion we intend to make.
The point is; have a point, get to the point, and please, only one point. We have barely enough time to emphasize one good point before the adults fall asleep and the kids get restless.
3. The God will get you in the end story—naughty children beware! Stories about the natural consequences of bad behavior are helpful and entertaining—if told well. But there are two common problems with them. First, they tend to be overused. Every storyteller, it seems, has a checkered past (or knows someone else who does) and is anxious to tell how bad they were and what misfortunes they suffered as a result. And most kids and adults in the audience have heard it all before. The behavior/punishment lesson has become so predictable that instead of paying attention to your point, listeners may instead think about how they could do the same stuff—only better and without getting caught!
Stories of misbehaving children are as old as Cain and Able. Which is one reason we need to keep on telling them. But to be helpful, a story has to have an outcome that makes sense morally, and biblically. Unfortunately, naughty children stories often teach some very bad theology. However accidentally, they often misrepresent God.
In various ways, story tellers often ask: Why should we obey? And unfortunately, the common answer is—because God will be mad and will do something awful to us if we don’t. The question we have to ask ourselves is—what is God really like? Does Jesus love people always, even when they’re bad? Or does He get revenge on his kids who mess up and disobey? Jesus told a story about a prodigal boy who learned his lesson the hard way. But his dad did not get mad and seek revenge. Instead he threw a party. And that seems to contradict a lot of children’s stories.
So these are the stories we should avoid: Stories with too much information, stories that have no central point, and stories with no real gospel content. I suspect we’ve all heard them; and we’ve all told them at one time or another. But we need to keep telling our stories anyway. Our worship services need people who love kids (and adults) and who are willing to take risks for them. We should take some comfort and guidance in knowing that our audience would rather hear a technically bad story from someone who obviously loves kids, than to endure a perfectly good story by someone who cares more about their performance than about the audience.
1. Isabel Allende. “Tales of Passion.” TED Talk, http://ed.ted.com/lessons/tales-of-passion-isabel-allende
2. Inspiration for this is comes in part from an article on storytelling by Nick Morgan, contributing author on the Forbes website. http://www.forbes.com/sites/nickmorgan/2014/08/19/here-are-three-common-storytelling-mistakes-to-avoid
