Grace Notes

This is based on a eulogy I gave at the memorial service of my maternal grandmother, Grace Hudson. I originally published it in February of 2007.  – Mike Leno

Laurence & Grace Hudson, 1945

My grandmother was blessed with the wonderful name of “Grace.” Her full name was Grace Arvilla Hudson. (I will not comment on her middle name except to say that no one is perfect!) But along with the rest of her grand kids, I called her “Mama Grace.” On December 31, 2006 she died at the age of 99. She would have been 100 the following May.

In Romans 5:20, Paul makes one of his most memorable and to some, most controversial statements. He says, “But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.” This text assures us that nothing can outdo God’s grace. Even the opposite of grace cannot overcome it. By its nature, grace only increases with the need. And that means that no matter what happens and no matter what we do, we’ll always have grace. I learned a lot about grace from Mama Grace. And I learned it more from what she did than what she taught.

“Whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

The shame trap is deadly. It’s that moment when you realize you will betray your best self in order to maintain a friendship, avoid a divorce, keep a job, deflect criticism, keep the peace, or just get through an implicitly hostile social situation. It’s when you decide you have to abandon your own self worth and the value of your own conscience. You don’t just pretend to be someone you’re not. You also despise your real self for trying to be a person you cannot respect. If you find yourself in the shame trap, take heart. We’ve all been there. And Jesus understands.

“The Most High… is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

A woman from another church called me once to complain about her pastor. Normally I would not give much attention to what seemed like idle complaining and criticism. But in this case, the woman was not asking me to intervene on her behalf. She had already resolved the situation herself with some outside help. She was simply telling me a story about her past, probably hoping I would learn something.

What caught my attention was that this woman apparently had found her church not only incapable of dealing with domestic abuse but likely to make it worse. To be fair, pastors, somewhat like policemen, always have a hard time dealing with domestic calls. Especially if conflict has escalated to the point of physical and psychological battering, the situation often becomes dangerous to anyone trying to intervene. And the worst part is, it’s often hard to be objective. Domestic abuse is by definition, not public. And both victims and abusers will often minimize things and keep the worst of it a secret, even from those trying to help. Furthermore, victims usually feel a great deal of shame and vulnerability to “moral” judgments by outsiders. They are often afraid of reporting out of fear of judgment and retaliation.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

French intellectuals in the late 19th century loved the United States for its form of government. In the years following the American Civil War, a French artist by the name of Frédéric Bartholdi, wanted to honor the ideals of freedom, which he found expressed in the American Constitution. Eventually, Bartholdi’s ideas took the form of a statue 151 feet high. With the pedestal it would be twice that height, over 300 feet if measured from the surface of the water. A French civil engineer by the name of Gustave Eiffel, later famous for the Eiffel Tower, made the artists design work as both a sculpture and as a large public monument that could withstand the effects of time, weather, and daily visitors.

This is a picture of my dad on his bicycle with my brother in front of him. And I am seated behind. I’m guessing my mother took the picture. It was 1958 in Lincoln, Nebraska and my memory is fairly incomplete since I was only a little more than 4 years old. That’s my best guess anyway. What I do remember for sure is that I had a great dad.

I marvel at how flexible and grace filled the apostle Paul was. Writing to the church in Corinth, he said,

“To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law… To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Corinthians 9:20-23).

Unfortunately, Paul encountered many people, Christian, Jewish and Pagan, who were not so flexible or gracious.

A map that created reality!

Paul the Rabbi (teacher), was often asked to give directions; not driving or walking directions, but directions for Christian behavior. This is reflected in the first verse of I Corinthians 8. “Now about food sacrificed to idols…!” It was a controversial subject, apparently. And Paul had been called upon to give the rule, the directions, to map out the way to be a good Christian in a pagan context. Paul’s job here was difficult and controversial.

Given the negative tone of the presidential race, it’s tempting just to ignore the whole mess and be thankful that we can keep religion and politics mostly separate. I’d like to suggest, however, that there are some positive things evident in the current political climate that we can notice and learn from. It may take some digging, imagination, and maybe even a little faith. But I suspect that what we look for often determines what we find. Allow me to call our attention to some important but sometimes unnoticed positives.